What would you guys do? Hypotheticals of behavior that have truth to them

[2in2out]

WWYGD if you invited a family member for a day on your boat and they invited some random person(s) without asking you first?

Case in point. Yesterday, we had a planned day with my wife’s male cousins and her niece to go out for the 2nd trip on our boat. Cousin #1 tells us through text, and I quote, “I invited a female neighbor, but she probably won't go. “

Mind you, we’ve never met this person, and his picker for females leans heavily towards crazy and unruly. Luckily, she turned out to be decent person, but an awkward fixture in the day.

Come to find out he had invited another woman as well.

Both male cousins are chauvinists and will get terribly butthurt if my wife addresses the issue, and straight up won’t listen to her. I think they both consider me and uptight @ss, but always deal with me because of bull$h!t patriarchal issues.

How would you address this in the future so it doesn’t happen again? I know I could have the man-2-man convo with them but when I’ve done that before it’s driven a huge wedge between us.

Are we being unreasonable? Even with teenage kids we never had this scenario occur, and I haven’t made any local friends since we moved to use as a soundboard, so I could use some advice.


Making my new SA build come true!!!

[larry_arizona]

Because you asked, I see two options.

1) roll with it and be chill
2) don’t invite guests who use your boat as a tool for dating.


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[htfit]

I would do as Larry said, be a hostess if they came out and if it became an issue then they wouldn't get invite the next time. Love your family but pick your friends and who you hang around.

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[Mxmark4]

We usually will allow anybody to come out with us but our rule is no cursing if our kids are onboard. That gets tough cause my friends cuss like sailors, so I have to be the one to rein it in and it sucks. Never had any randos just show up and come out with us but we have a hard time getting anybody to want to come out with us. Address it with them and if they cant respect it, then maybe let them take the summer off from hangin on your boat. Family or not its your boat and your rules. If they cant be cool with that then let them stay home.

[brad460]

I thought it weird to be asking “male” cousins on the boat, but maybe some folks are closer to those type of relatives. Regardless, agree with Larry, you both fully realize the situation these guys are in.

I am not a people person, so when we do invite others, it’s always very close friends who have families with kids our age, or my parents or in-laws.

[Holdmybeer]

As disrespected as you feel, vent to the wife first and try to clear your head. No reason to ruin family over something trival.

If the guest was cool then you lucked out and had a good day, but your frustration kept you from enjoying and that is probably just as hard to deal with.

You either deal with them inviting others, don't invite them again, or say something and see what happens.
I had this happen before but it was a friend that brought 2 other people. Problem being my old 18ft I/O only held 7 so friend was 6...his +2 made 8. Safe to say we had 5 people on the boat that day and was easy to justify.

[2in2out]

As disrespected as you feel, vent to the wife first and try to clear your head.

My wife was more perturbed than I, and I just rolled with it. We lucked out that the guest was cool, but the notice of invite was by such design as we couldn’t say no. He had invited the two women the evening before, but didn’t tell us one was joining us until we were already on our way to pick him up. We were launching from one of his HOA launches, and needed him to come along to get us through the gate. We were committed then.

My wife and I agreed that if she was a basket case we would pull up to the closest association dock and drop her off.

We’ve already had boundary issues with these cousins which, when addressed, caused a lot of family drama for no reason hence why I’m seeking some feedback.


2022 SA 450

[HFarr]

Just curious. How old are the cousins?

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[larry_arizona]

I will say if you were using his launch access, that should afford him at least a +1…… that kinda changes things if you needed his presence to get access to a launch. Your SA can handle it.

Worst case they are added ballast, best case they are nice fun people, bonus if the ladies are hot.

Doesn’t sound like a bad time was had by anyone and maybe next time invite him and her. New friends are never a bad thing in a new town.


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[Mxmark4]

Is his launch the closest or easiest place to launch from? Now it sounds like he has you in a position where you have to take him if its the only boat launch you can use. Other wise find another ramp to use