Joke of the day

[BensonWdby]

Insight in sleeveless plaid...

[kaneboats]

That's funny right there. I don't care who I am.

[jamie_abb]

What's long and hard on a moomba owner?

[jamie_abb]

Winter x

[SEARK]

Visconsin Luck
Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Beldenville, WI, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table; asked him something in French (which Ole couldn't understand); so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner..... after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

[SEARK]

I stopped by the Toyota Dealership yesterday for a look at the new Tacoma. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct.

The salesman (wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

Feeling like messing with his mind, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck. Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke up your a** year-round.

I had to walk back to the dealership. Damn guy had no sense of humor.

[kaneboats]

Dallas, TX (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Dallas
County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over
who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by
his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in
keeping with child custody laws and regulations requiring that family
unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court, however, when he proclaimed that his aunt
beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with
her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents,
the boy cried and said that they also regularly beat him.

After considering each of the remaining family members and learning
that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal precedents and confer with Child
Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Dallas
Cowboys professional football team, whom the boy, the court and
everyone else in Dallas firmly believe are not capable of beating anyone.

[kaneboats]

What if the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey?

Would we all be looking forward to a piece of a$$ tomorrow?

[SEARK]

Groundhog day 2011



This next year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address occur on the same day. As Air America Radio pointed out, "It is an ironic juxtaposition of events; one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication while the other involves a groundhog."