Letting the kids take the boat, without me... Do I?

I knew this day would come. They are well trained and well prepared, but not sure I'm ready for this.

My daughter is 23, just graduated college, and son 21. I've had them behind the wheel of the boat and basically in all aspects of boating, boarding, surfing since they were old enough to see through the windshield. So this summer they have a group campout planned with friends up on one of the mountain lakes and the question came up about them taking the boat - without the parents. Mostly, without me.

They've made runs before without me, but never launching and loading and being completely on their own.

My daughter is probably the best captain I know, my protege, and my son is right up there as well. I'm not worried about them being reckless or crazy showing off for their friends or using poor judgement. (at least I don't think I am) I'm more concerned about any mechanical issues that may come up and how they would handle it. Or other idiots on the water causing problems.

Anyone else in this boat? LOL What would you do, or not do...

I'm sure you'll be cool with it and pass the torch.

Remember my story about letting my friends borrow my boat when I was out of town? They had the advantage that my wife went with them.

Best quote from that adventure was the people in the FB group saying, "I'd let my buddies borrow my wife, but not my boat!"

The 2nd time I let them do that, my buddy dunked the trailer way too deep and when my wife drove the boat on the trailer, she cashed the prop on the inner frame rail... But my two buddies and my wife all chipped in thirds on the prop repair.

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In my view of these scenarios….. it’s usually not the people you entrust (your kids) but the others they bring along and how they can…. Influence them !

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Originally Posted by Dukabor

Iit’s usually not the people you entrust (your kids) but the others they bring along and how they can…. Influence them !

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this!!

won't give advice as everyone's level of trust with toys is different but will say post up what/how they did......
this has the potential to be a proud parent moment or an expensive teachable moment :)

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Originally Posted by sandm

an expensive teachable moment :)

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Yeah this is what we need to avoid! Had enough of those in the last year already...

I know most of the friend group and they are good "kids" if I can still call them that. My hunch is my kids might be so paranoid being 100% responsible for the boat that they may not enjoy it as much as they would think. And I'd be sitting, ok pacing at home, paranoid as well. Ugh.

Sounds like you have respectful kids and ready to pass the handle.

15-20 years from now the kids will be telling the story "Do you remember when dad let us take the boat . . . . . . dang was that a good time".

Being in the risk mitigation business for almost 20 years, my opinion has changed a lot over the years. A lot can go wrong when you start talking kids, friends, lake, dads boat, no parents.

I was a kid allowed to use my parents stuff (cars, truck, boat) when I was young, but was scared shitless to ever let anything happen as I had plenty of ass beatings growing up and a lot of respect for how hard my parents worked for those things. So never had an issue with this type of thing. But at that same time, my brothers were not of the same opinion and had some pretty significant incidents over the years using my parents stuff that caused them a lot (like a lot) of grief and liability.

Only you know your kids and their friends.


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Originally Posted by MJHSupra

Sounds like you have respectful kids and ready to pass the handle.

15-20 years from now the kids will be telling the story "Do you remember when dad let us take the boat . . . . . . dang was that a good time".

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Yep! Hopefully that will be the story and not follow that first part with " and it sank" [emoji2957] . No, I think we all have to let them take the reigns from start to finish at some point. And I know it won't be a no worry situation. I'm just waiting on my kids to hit me up with the same request. I'm sure it's coming. But I get the feeling you have taught them well. And, a mechanical issue is only a phone call away from telling them how to deal with it.

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My son and daughter both grew up on the lake operating boats with us onboard of course. Both got their boaters licenses as soon as they were old enough. My son's first job was at the state park near us and he drove the jet ski to work since he didn't have his drivers license yet. Both worked at the Boys Scout aquatic base on our lake teaching skiing, wakeboarding and wake surfing so I was lucky they had the chance to be responsible for someone else's boat including cleaning and some maintenance before taking ours out with their friends. Only issue we have ever had was my son hit a submerged log and dinged the prop while teaching a bunch of Italian guys from his work to surf. I feel more secure when they are out on the lake vs driving on some of the roads with the all the distracted drivers out there.

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Originally Posted by MJHSupra

15-20 years from now the kids will be telling the story "Do you remember when dad let us take the boat . . . . . . dang was that a good time".

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for me and my sis it's more like "remember that time that we took "x" and did "y" and mom/dad didn't even notice" :)
as I have aged over the years telling stories about my youth to my mom especially she keeps saying "I never knew that"....

I remember the day I got the balls to ask my dad this exact question.

I had been trailering since 14yr old, operated heavy machinery since 12 and grew up with quads and dirt bikes. My dad wasn't scared of my judgement but the judgement of others. My first trip wasn't a long weekend either. It was a day trip but I was 18 not 23.

If your kids have the same respect I had (sounds like maybe more) they will do great and keep their friends in line also. Mechanical problems happen. Are they trained enough to wrench on some things with dad on the phone (video calls did not exist in my day)? Could they change a prop if needed and do you have a spare? Could they change a trailer tire? Basic mechanic skills and a socket set goes a long way.

These are things they will remember forever. I know I still do. And 18 with a truck and boat, was a great summer when dad always said yes after I proved myself.

Seems like a big leap for their first silo trip but sounds like the could handle it. I'd suggest some smaller local trips first. Even if it's a day you plan to be out with them, show up a hour late and leave an hour early where they do all the trailering and launching without you.

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Originally Posted by sandm

for me and my sis it's more like "remember that time that we took "x" and did "y" and mom/dad didn't even notice" :)
as I have aged over the years telling stories about my youth to my mom especially she keeps saying "I never knew that"....

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Sounds familiar


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So what happened? I didn't hear anything on the local news

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Haha, the fact that nothing came across the news is probably a good thing! :)

Given the boat needed a new alternator and new starter is was over before it even started. Then after our 4th of July trip where my buddy's Malibu was broken down on the water, like opened the engine compartment and thought it was on fire, but was actually just steam. And we had to taxi him 5 miles back and forth to the launch for parts and tow him in. I think that put a damper on their "we could do this" enthusiasm just a bit...

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Originally Posted by bergermaister

Given the boat needed a new alternator and new starter is was over before it even started. Then after our 4th of July trip where my buddy's Malibu was broken down on the water, like opened the engine compartment and thought it was on fire, but was actually just steam. And we had to taxi him 5 miles back and forth to the launch for parts and tow him in. I think that put a damper on their "we could do this" enthusiasm just a bit...

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I hate to hear this. As a father I completely understand, and it helped make your decision easier. However, I was hoping to hear of the adventures and how it went. Having to figure things out is part of growing up.

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Originally Posted by bergermaister

Given the boat needed a new alternator and new starter is was over before it even started. Then after our 4th of July trip where my buddy's Malibu was broken down on the water, like opened the engine compartment and thought it was on fire, but was actually just steam. And we had to taxi him 5 miles back and forth to the launch for parts and tow him in. I think that put a damper on their "we could do this" enthusiasm just a bit...

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I've been there on the steam... Mine was the fittings on the top of the manifold melting (because of a different underlying cooling problem or two)

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My son has had some other adventures this summer - being up on one of the mountain lakes with his fishing boat a little too long and getting the gate locked on them so they're stuck in the parking lot. Walking up the hill in the pitch black to get cell service. Get ahold of the tow company in charge of it an hour away who says they have to pay $175 and he'll come out and open it. Then the sheriff rolls by and notices them, figures they're up to no good. Hears whats going on, these college kids stuck with no money and pressures the tow company to just give them the gate code. "Ok fine, 1-2-3-4". My son says he and the deputy are looking at each other like seriously WTF. Opens the gate and and they get the hell out of there. Meanwhile I'm at home sipping a nightcap contemplating putting together a search party after having expected him to be home at least 3 hours earlier. Can't reach him or see his location because he had zero service most of the night. Fun stuff.

When you said "tow company" was in charge of the parking lot, that sums it up. Those SOB's I am sure locked them in on purpose just so they could try to hijack them for some money. Ridiculous, especially since they could give them the code to get out. Good for that deputy for helping them out!!

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Hey Greg. Check out the Motorola defy satellite link. I have one and it's a game changer to be able to send/receive messages with GPS coordinates over Satellite. I'm out of service so often with my hobbies that it's a game changer. It was very affordable too. Used it to message my son while we were zero service on the Jeep Jamboree.

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