Funny Story

[Razzman]

Just remembered a funny story (at least i thought it was) from last weekend. A bit long but worth it! ...

So last Friday afternoon we've launched, parked our LSV in a slip, setup our campsite and are awaiting everyone else to show. One of my buddies calls and asks me to meet him at the ramp to help him launch as his wife isn't showing up until the next morning. We launch his boat and i pull it around the courtesy dock via a dock line and tie up while he drops the trailer in long term and parks the truck. It's a haul back to the dock via foot so i know it'll take him a while so i kick back and listen to tunes.

So while we're doing this a truck comes down the ramp towing one of those 33' twin engined hot boats with all the bling. He stops half way down, leaving the door open in the way and preps his boat. Moron, that's what the prep area is for. Gets back in, moves ten feet, and stops again again leaving door open in the way and does something else, pisses people off waiting in line! Finally gets back in and moves around and backs in at a 30 degree angle taking two lanes! Dumas! Anyway he's backed in about eight feet from the launch side of the courtesy dock, his girlfriend/wife/whatever gets outta the truck in her swimsuit w/ heels and proceeds to attempt walking down the steep ramp to the dock! GEEZ!

Whatever catches her heels on the dock grating and almost falls in while Dumas throws a line to her! I'm sitting in my buddies Nautique almost ready to bust a gut! They struggle the boat to the side of the dock and Dumas proceeds to tie up the rear, in the meantime Whatever sets the rope down to adjust her suit bottom as stuffs hanging out the rear that shouldn't be! Not a pretty sight let me tell ya! The boat drifts away from the dock in the front, line falls in water, Dumas yells and has to jump in to get it before it floats over a jetski! OK so now i can't hold back and let loose busting the gut. Whatever turns red while Dumas is climbing back onto the dock dripping wet! The dog (theirs), which i had forggoten about is sitting in the boat, wearing his sunglasses taking all this in! LOL!

Dumas proceeds to start the boat while Whatever is still on the dock. It's right across the 5' wide dock from me and this freaking thing is gawdawefull loud! By this time my buddy has returned, Dumas has gone back to the truck and is screwing around with the trailer, still hasn't cleared the ramp and it's been about ten minutes now! I'd bumped the tunes up to combat the noise and Whatever so un-gracefully climbed over the 3 1/2' gunwale into the boat.

So now it gets good! I wasn't aware this was my buddies first startup since winterizing, he fires up the boat and a solid white cloud of fogging oil covers the dock! Whatever panics, ducks for the bow cuddy on this thing and caroms off the doorway! The cloud, having no conscious follows her right in and fills the cabin! Engines are running, music is blaring, I'm busting a gut and the dog is still taking it all in! Dumas still hasn't cleared the ramp! Whatever exits tha cabin hacking and coughing yelling at Dumas as the cloud clears and we exit. I'm still busting a gut! All this in about twelve minutes! :p

And that started our weekend! :D

[newty]

I love watching all the Dumas's and Whatever's. We used to sit on the Whaweap Warina dock at lake Powell and laugh histerically for hours on the big weekends.
Its an boat-scratching outdrive-draggin Good time.

[jester]

That is funny. Some people need to get their act together and a plan made before they even hit the boat ramp. The funny thing is that i can back the trailer into the water, launch my boat, tie up to the dock, get the truck out of the way and get back to my boat all by myself and faster then these people can get theri boat in the water and not even off the trailer.

[Razzman]

I love watching all the Dumas's and Whatever's. We used to sit on the Whaweap Warina dock at lake Powell and laugh histerically for hours on the big weekends.
Its an boat-scratching outdrive-draggin Good time.

Way TOO funny isn't it! We did that last Labor Day at Pedro with friends! E-Z-up, chairs, a cooler and your set for the day! 6 Lanes of fun at the ramp it is, ALL DAY fun! Amatuer days for sure the major holidays are! We don't even boat Memorial or Labor Day weekends, just watch! :p

[Razzman]

That is funny. Some people need to get their act together and a plan made before they even hit the boat ramp. The funny thing is that i can back the trailer into the water, launch my boat, tie up to the dock, get the truck out of the way and get back to my boat all by myself and faster then these people can get theri boat in the water and not even off the trailer.

Ain't that the truth! The wife and i probably (just guessing) average about two minutes total from the top of the ramp, launching and back up the ramp. She drives the truck. I really shake my head at some of the stuff i see!

[jester]

Razzman,

You have it right. You let the wife drive the boat or the truck. I think a big problem with these people that take soo long at the boat ramp is they do not let the wife drive eather the truck or boat. It goes alot faster having someone in the boat and someone in the truck.

[mmandley]

Yea that's pretty funny. My funny story was last weekend at Fall Creek, We were launching our boat and just as i get it in the water and Claudia pulls the truck up the ramp to go park, im idling and letting the boat get away from the ramp to go sit in the water and wait.

Well this other boat shows up behind me with like 5 teens in it. There paddleing back tot he dock and there dad is on the dock yelling that the hell is wrong with my boat?

I ask if they need help because now they are wide side of there boat right behind me and i cant go anywhere now. The kid says i flooded the engine trying to start it or something it just cranks over and over. So i climb back to the swim deck and reach out for there boat grabbing it and holding there tower. I plant myself as much as i can on my swim deck and leverage there boat around mine and give them a shove to the dock.

They wave and say thanks for all the help.

Whole time im thinking, Helping you? Are you kidding me? I didn't want you running into me rookies LOL.

[Razzman]

LOL! It was probably in nuetral or the lanyard was out! :p

[mmandley]

I don't know but i think next time dad better let one of them boys drive the truck or get in and start the boat for him. Makes me wonder how they got it off the trailer. Maybe pushed it or something. I don't know.

I always line the truck up for Claudia and then she backs me down into the water. I start the boat up and make sure its running a few seconds then i unlatch the D ring and back her off with boat power and when im clear of the trailer i wave her to pull away and park.

Ill be dammed if i put my boat in the water and it doesnt start and i have to figure out how to get that heavy beast back on the trailer and lined up on the bunks lol.

[jester]

I was watching this take place and it was confusing from my view. I had no clue what was going on and why Mike was standing on his swim deck giving hi fives to the other boat. I also thought they where going to push you back up the ramp or into the shore line. Since i did not know what was going on i took the best rought and stayed away so another boat would not be in the way.

[mmandley]

Haha yea Jester i was worried about the nose of my boat going to the shore i kept looking at the depth gauge the whole time. It was a fiasco that's for sure but one thing me and Claudia have noticed is we haven't meet any group of people as nice or helpful as the boating community.

Save for the old guy in his fishing boat who drove right up behind me in the docks while im backing up and yells for me to watch out and go around him. I yell back well i cant steer in reverse so don't pull in behind me lol.

[Scottys]

I hear you all!
Laura (my wife) drives the boat from the launch to our pier, I drive the thuck back to the cabin. There's a REAL tight turn onto our drive to clear some trees. I'm affraid she'd get the trailer hooked on a tree. (Note to self - need to drop a couple of them this fall.)

I too think it takes us all of 2 minutes to get launched and clear of the ramp and pier. She's sitting at the helm while I back the boat into the water. I get out of truck and give her to OK to start the engine. Once running, I unhook the winch and she backs off the trailer. Done.

Landing is just as easy and again take just a couple of minutes. She drives the boat to the landing. Meet her with the truck, back in and she drives on. I connect the winch and crank the last couple of feet. Pull out and get out out of the way for the next guy. Then Laura gets out of the boat and we cleanup and go.

What's sad is that these same amateurs at the ramp are also on the water, with the same amount of skill, piloting their watercraft as they use launching it. Under power WAY to close to skiers/boarders/tubers in the water, too close to shore, not understaning channel markers or other bouy markers, etc... Or, and this one is my BIG pet peve, under power during "No Wake Curfew". It's OK though because the're fishing and that rule doesn't apply to people fishing. Really????

[sandm]

some people make more of a production than launching a boat should be. I have no issues launching mine myself when going to snag a campsite. usually 2-3 minutes to dump the boat, tie it up and pull the truck out.
when launching with the wife, less than 1.5 minutes down the ramp, unhook the cable, power the boat off and out, then she drives the truck back up the ramp.
not rocket science.

[jester]

These people are what make it so i will drive an extra hour so i can get away from them. The bad thing is when your at the boat ramp and try to give some helpful advice or help them launch they get violant and try to fight with you. Other then these people the boating world is very helpful.

[04OUTBACK]

All of these are funny! Love the story Razz

My personal fave, and most regular.. is the first time out for the year crew..
With the second vehicle nosed down into the launch ramp with a pair of jumper cables connected to the boat turned around backwards to reach.. but it's not just the dead battery, but the old gas as well...
Ever think of cranking it at the house prior to the first trip>? Yeah, i did this a time or two with Dad growing up enough to know not to do it myself!

Last year TRIED to help a 30' deck boat with 8.1L engine and 2 dead batteries with my jump box.. whew..

BW

[montanamoomba]

Razz, awesome story!

For those of you who live in areas where folks have a longer season you should come to Montana where the season is short and most guys only get out a few times a summer! Now that is priceless..........I could win $10,000 on Americas Funnies Home Videos in a heartbeat. Especially of the guys with the jet skis!!!

It only takes 2 minutes tops if you are having a bad day!

[moombadaze]

Razz, great story, to bad you didnt have a camcorder going


Wife and myself, 30 seconds to launch and about 60 seconds to load, but we do all the prep work in the prep area.

[kaneboats]

Mrs. Kane who would barely ride in the boat a few years ago will now drive on the trailer, even when it's windy. She'll also go put the trailer away for me. She can't back up but she'll pull it out after we're launched and go park. We're not supersonic but getting 6 kids loaded and the boat launched in about 2 1/2 minutes puts us ahead of most of them out there.

[sandm]

maybe dealers should offer a "launch ettiquete" class prior to the owner taking delivery of a boat for new owners..
or a big yellow/orange pylon on the tower like the drivers training cars indicating a new owner :)

[kaneboats]

Instead of the orange hat saying "dunce" it could just say "Dumas".

[Razzman]

There ya go! :p

[moombadaze]

We're not supersonic but getting 6 kids loaded and the boat launched in about 2 1/2 minutes puts us ahead of most of them out there.

I would say you guys do dang good!!

[Razzman]

I would say so as well! I spend about 15 mninutes in the prep area getting stuff up, on and getting the grandsons together! :rolleyes:

[ian ashton]

I saw the vehicle nose down the ramp jump starting the other day, too funny. The only time we've ever had trouble with loading is at our marina, the ramp has a really gradual slope, so someone has to stand on the platform to get the nose up to the roller - that can be tricky, but its a private launch so nobody is ever waiting.

The launching is always easy though, I've done it plenty of times by myself without issue.