Your boat "rules", policies, mantras... Let's hear 'em.

[trayson]

I know that we've seen bits and pieces of this on other threads. But post 'em up.

Some of the basics for my boat:

Neither me nor my wife ever get pushed in the water
My wife can wear as much or as little clothing as she wants
Boat owner has ultimate say on the music playlist
Boat owner always has the option of skiing/wakeboarding/surfing first
Feel free to wear as little clothing as you'd like. Unless you're an ugly motherf*****, then cover that sh** up!!!!
I don't share my drysuit
Don't pee in MY wetsuit
No shoes worn on the boat
The music will be loud, you may get wet, you will have fun
When attempting to wakesurf, Rule #1 = "Don't Suck"
If you fall off the wake while surfing, you have to do "the Robot" as you sink into the water
The short version of "how to wakeboard" = Hold onto the string, and follow me.
Don't get your sunblock, beer, or other fluids on my Vinyl
Gas money is not "expected" but is always appreciated

[trayson]

I do have a friend and he has a couple rules for his boat:

If you push someone in the water and they have their phone or sunglasses on them, and you pushing them in causes loss/damage, YOU have to pay for it
"I'm on a Boat" and "Boats and Hoes" are NOT allowed to be played
No motherf****** Bikini tops allowed on "Topless Tuesdays/Sundays"
No glass bottles

[BamaMojo]

No shoes ...
Byob.....
Owner picks the tunes


2012 Mojo

[zabooda]

"No glass bottles"....without prior approval. Lots of good stuff you would be missing out on.

[trayson]

"No glass bottles"....without prior approval. Lots of good stuff you would be missing out on.

Personally, as long as you're not breaking the glass, I don't have an issue with bottles. My friends have brought be lots of tasty stuff in bottles and I don't complain.

[jester]

1) Mike is always right. ( I know that one apply's all the time but it is true)
2) No shoes.
3) accept nudity.
4) Don't pee in MY Drysuit. I want it to stay dry on the inside.
5) If you are not having fun you will be removed from the island.
6) Gas money is not "expected" but is always appreciated
7) If you bring a friend make sure she is good looking and single.
8) If you do not like the tunes or the level of the tunes you can get off at any time.
9) Respect my equipment and my boat.

I have to say I might be adding another rule since I agree with "I'm on a Boat" and "Boats and Hoes" are NOT allowed to be played

[trayson]

1) Mike is always right. ( I know that one apply's all the time but it is true)
2) No shoes.
3) accept nudity.
4) Don't pee in MY Drysuit. I want it to stay dry on the inside.
5) If you are not having fun you will be removed from the island.
6) Gas money is not "expected" but is always appreciated
7) If you bring a friend make sure she is good looking and single.
8) If you do not like the tunes or the level of the tunes you can get off at any time.
9) Respect my equipment and my boat.

I have to say I might be adding another rule since I agree with "I'm on a Boat" and "Boats and Hoes" are NOT allowed to be played

I approve this message.

[DOCDRS]

Personally, as long as you're not breaking the glass, I don't have an issue with bottles. My friends have brought be lots of tasty stuff in bottles and I don't complain.

Its his rule not yours . We know it's not yours as you don't have it posted in your *^+#~€£¥ rules. You don't have to comment on every flipin post! Yes I did not use any %^+#~€£¥ easily identifiable profanity.

[trayson]

Its his rule not yours . We know it's not yours as you don't have it posted in your *^+#~€£¥ rules. You don't have to comment on every flipin post! Yes I did not use any %^+#~€£¥ easily identifiable profanity.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rL_FJAQ83PE/VCMEdaPcu2I/AAAAAAAAahE/XN2Dw8Uk7ZA/s1600/U%2Bmad%2Bbro.jpg

Settle down there sparky. I'm just havin' a little fun with a lighthearted topic. If you don't like my thread, then by all means, skip over it and move along...

[mmandley]

1) Mike is always right. ( I know that one apply's all the time but it is true)
2) No shoes.
3) accept nudity.
4) Don't pee in MY Drysuit. I want it to stay dry on the inside.
5) If you are not having fun you will be removed from the island.
6) Gas money is not "expected" but is always appreciated
7) If you bring a friend make sure she is good looking and single.
8) If you do not like the tunes or the level of the tunes you can get off at any time.
9) Respect my equipment and my boat.

I have to say I might be adding another rule since I agree with "I'm on a Boat" and "Boats and Hoes" are NOT allowed to be played

1. Yes yes I am
2. Expected
3. Even Me
4. I refuse to wear one
5. I am nornmally the one say, Mike your having way too much fun..slow it down LOL
6. I always drop a little folding paper
7. The one I brough was single, is Hot just a dude...Hes pretty though...
8. I was the one trying to make them louder.
9. Or off you go for the long swim back.

[DOCDRS]

Not mad at all Sherman, just commenting on one post. If you expect your rules to be respected then you should respect someone else rules as well.
btw. glass is not allowed on my boat. Please don't unapproved my post.

[trayson]

Not mad at all Sherman, just commenting on one post. If you expect your rules to be respected then you should respect someone else rules as well.
btw. glass is not allowed on my boat. Please don't unapproved my post.

Agreed. Mutual respect is where it's at. Guess I must have given the impression to the contrary.

On his boat, I bring no glass. And when he came on my boat this weekend, he brought cases of glass for himself, and a nice 750ml glass for me. All was right in the world.

[newty]

Must like loud music
Must like to have fun
Nudity is encouraged (especially Mandley)
Beer required
No shoes
If your going to ride for long or multiple sets plan on gas money or don't plan on coming again unless your hot, brought hot friends, brought beer, hot and have no morals, from out of town, family, don't have a job, have a boat and reciprocate, bring hot friends, or if you bring beer. Did I mention if your hot or bring beer?
This applies to garage boating as well.

[rdlangston13]

1. No shoes
2. No spray sunscreen in the boat
3. No red drinks
4. No cheesy chips
5. Don't touch the radio, ask myself or Heidi.
6. No Glass
7. Move where I tell you when I tell without arguing
8. I am the captain, what I say goes. If you don't like it then buy your own boat.
9. Do not throw anything overboard


Sent from my iPhone

[kaneboats]

My rules:

No eating unless you bring wings from Carter's chicken or something else good and share it with the Capt.
No dogs (or pets).
My beer is my beer and your beer is my beer.
Always bring more ice (FL rule).
Absolutely no children.
The above one has not been enforced in a while.
No wasting beer-- you let it get warm you drink it.
Only one carry on per person unless you are extremely smokin hot.
If you are getting dehdrated from drinking and the hot sun, for goodness sake-- drink a few light beers till you're ok.
No peeing in the boat unless you are putting on Ed's wetsuit.

[mmandley]

My rules:


My beer is my beer and your beer is my beer..

I like this rule, except the beer you brought I didn't care for so I let you drink it. But you did leave it and my buddies did drink it lol

[bergermaister]

Reading through these I'm glad to see I'm welcome on Newty or Mandley's boat about any time. ( since I'm hot and bring beer, duh )

We've had glass on board for many years - never a problem.

I'm more opposed to the morons who decide to pop out the sub sandwich or salad buffet when there's a rider in the water. Food belongs on the beach - not in the boat. At least not in the 'moving' boat.

I gave up stereo controls / playlist when my kids announced a mutiny last summer and made me walk the plank (aka platform).

Shoes/flip flops come off or get tossed overboard. Ask my oldest step daughter about that.

Slight modification - my beer is my beer and your beer is my beer. Kinda like a marriage huh.

No friggin dogs on board. I don't care how hot you are or how much Fifi means to you. I love my own dogs but hate them on the boat.


My final rule - If I see you smoking I'll assume you're on fire and take any means necessary to put you out.

[mmandley]

Well I'm glad my nudity is accepted by more then just my wife LOL.

My beer is really everyones beer, I have never told anyone No they can't have one. I even pass it out to those who come to my camp. Like anyone thats been around me, I always bring plenty of beer.

Only 2 times we ran out of beer.
1 Time at LBC and you would have thought by the panic is all us guys voices, we ran out of fuel. Nope mad dash to the marina for Beer.
2 Was last summer, me and 2 work buddies went out in April for just a float and drink. Well we drank a case and a 1/2 between the 3 of us. Lucky Claudia was on her way and bright us an 18 pack. At no point though did I not have a beer. Gotta keep the Captain happy LOL.

You know boat beer, its only on loan to you, it belongs to the lake gods.

On my boat you better be ok with a dog. 1 big black 94lb lab that has to be in the water as much as me. I would never take him on someone elses boat though, thats not fair. For me though, the 3 most important things on my boat are
1 Beer...Can't make myself do it without, I have tried several times. Everyone says "Mike Drink a Beer, we Like you better that way" I can live with that.
2 Dog...Got to have someone to entertain me, and frankly i love my Oso-Bear like no other. Yes the wife knows this
3 Wife...I can do boating with the above 2 but I really only truly enjoy my day when she shows up.

[slipperyrockTKE300]

For me.... it is a damn boat. It's a thing. I don't have rules.

I do have one major request for guests.....don't bring f'ing light beer

[sandm]

no shoes
no smoking
no red food or drinks

other than that, have fun and respect what I work hard to pay for...

[kaneboats]

I like this rule, except the beer you brought I didn't care for so I let you drink it. But you did leave it and my buddies did drink it lol

Hey, I also brought the goofy kind you like-- in cans to boot. Then I helped myself to your Coors Light as well after about 5 IPA's as I was starting to break my own dehydration rule. Glad the boys enjoyed the good stuff I left. Hope the glass was not a problem.

[viking]

no shoes
no smoking
no red (& ORANGE) food or drinks

other than that, have fun and respect what I work hard to pay for...

^^ Same Here ^^ Keep it simple and Keep it FUN

[kaneboats]

You guys don't like cheetos and Hawaiian Punch on the boat, eh?

[boater4life]

other than that, have fun and respect what I work hard to pay for...

Best rule ever. I don't think people understand how much these boats cost. On the other hand, whether I paid $6k or $60k for my toy, it should be treated the same.

[mmandley]

Hey, I also brought the goofy kind you like-- in cans to boot. Then I helped myself to your Coors Light as well after about 5 IPA's as I was starting to break my own dehydration rule. Glad the boys enjoyed the good stuff I left. Hope the glass was not a problem.

This is why Coors Light is boat beer. In my fridge you will find a lot more options LOL

[sandm]

You guys don't like cheetos and Hawaiian Punch on the boat, eh?

not unless I buy a boat with a red or orange interior. no chance that will ever happen so the rule stands :)

[sandm]

Best rule ever. I don't think people understand how much these boats cost. On the other hand, whether I paid $6k or $60k for my toy, it should be treated the same.

wait, so you paid 6k for that boat???? :)

[jelmhorst]

Respect the dock, respect the boat, respect the equipment.
No glass
No animals except evening pleasure cruises
Sadly it has to be said, no putting on nail polish, sorry for my cousin who had his girl do this to his boat, rightfully she did everything in her power to make it right.
Gloves for wakeboarding/skiing are earned
No one uses my lifejacket
It's unwritten but second Newty, If your going to ride for long or multiple sets plan on gas money or don't plan on coming again unless your hot, brought hot friends, hot and have no morals, from out of town, family, don't have a job, have a boat and reciprocate, bring hot friends. Personal preference, beer can be replaced with Rum or Tequila.

[trayson]

Gloves for wakeboarding/skiing are earned


I'd love to hear more about this one. :-)

[jelmhorst]

The demarcation line is can you get up first try, move in and out of the wake with ease. Glass is a fading light on a lake so spending 5 minutes to put on a board, find a lifejacket, then put on gloves, then get in the water, and then get ready to go, becomes quite the production. I can probably update the rule for this season with another set of gloves so I've got my pair and the pair for the rest. Back in my day I didn't use gloves. It's only changed as I've gotten older, get out weekly as opposed to one vacation, pull harder, mostly I'm more prissy. Definitely the prissy part.

[trayson]

The demarcation line is can you get up first try, move in and out of the wake with ease. Glass is a fading light on a lake so spending 5 minutes to put on a board, find a lifejacket, then put on gloves, then get in the water, and then get ready to go, becomes quite the production. I can probably update the rule for this season with another set of gloves so I've got my pair and the pair for the rest. Back in my day I didn't use gloves. It's only changed as I've gotten older, get out weekly as opposed to one vacation, pull harder, mostly I'm more prissy. Definitely the prissy part.

Love it. I'll offer gloves to the girls. Beyond that, one of my friends donated a set of cheap harbor freight work gloves to be the "boat gloves". No one ever bothers with gloves besides me and my wife anyway.

I'm glad I qualify as having earned my gloves. :-)

[kaneboats]

I don't think he likes the lady in front of him in line at the store who waits till everything is rung up, bagged and placed in the cart-- then they give her the total and she starts looking for her checkbook. Like she hasn't decided she's actually going to think about paying until she hears that total.

[z28ke]

*shoes off

*no smoking when the boat is moving

*one bag per female

*gas money if you want to surf/board for an extended amount of time

*if our son falls asleep on you don't move, no matter the reason, until he wakes up (he's 3 now so this won't be implemented much longer)

I like the rule about no spraying sunscreen on the boat, seems like every time I winterize I'm scrapping the windshield with a razor blade to get it clean. Might have to at least make people do it on the platform from now on

[jester]

no smoking


I forgot this one. I will put out all fires even if it is attached to a person.

[trayson]

I forgot this one. I will put out all fires even if it is attached to a person.

LOL. Nice.

I did allow vaping on my boat this weekend.

[deerfield]

LOL. Nice.

I did allow vaping on my boat this weekend.

Is that anything like twerking?

[drb59]

LOL. Nice.

I did allow vaping on my boat this weekend.

Of course you did, you are in the PNW.;)

[bergermaister]

Keep going Ed. Keep on pushing. You're doing great.

[casmith71]

1. No shoes
2. No spray sunscreen in the boat
3. No red drinks
4. No cheesy chips
5. Don't touch the radio, ask myself or Heidi.
6. No Glass
7. Move where I tell you when I tell without arguing
8. I am the captain, what I say goes. If you don't like it then buy your own boat.
9. Do not throw anything overboard


Sent from my iPhone

I second all of these, ecspecialy #7

[BamaMojo]

Of course you did, you are in the PNW.;)

Hahahahaha
👍


2012 Mojo

[newty]

Keep going Ed. Keep on pushing. You're doing great.
Almost fully dilated!

[viking]

de ja vu all over again

[slipperyrockTKE300]

Hey Viking....why not use that great photo of your boat (your old avatar) as your signature photo?

So what IS your 2015?